8/24/16: Jaclyn Bradley Palmer, Michael Buble, Sabaton, Metallica

@@@ Jaclyn Bradley Palmer: The Dutch Sessions (Self-released, 2016). Powerfully female folk rock I got to via the Indiepulse music blog. If you sport an external appendage in your underpants be forewarned that there are a lot of feelings going on here. Unabashedly as well. The second tune, All That Might Have Been is an acoustic guitar strummer and it’s a song of lost love and again, many many feelings. Let’s finish up this listen with the third tune, I Choose Joy. As one would expect from a tune called I Choose Joy it’s a happy stomper with a tambourine. When she’s down she chooses joy. I’m not sure that makes a lot of sense but choose joy dammit.

@@@ Michael Buble: Nobody But Me (Gets Paid!) (Reprise Records, 2016). I love the Buble and wailing upon him cuz he is a cheese slinger par excellence. This is a snazzy little Elvis Presley-esque pop confection. Not Fat Elvis either, snappy Elvis. Would it be cheeky to call this bubbly by Buble? Catchy is one thing, low IQ achiever is a whole nother. This song is what it smells like when a rich old lady farts in an elevator and makes the elevator operator gasp. He’s got an MC rapping on this tune, kill me! I’m not going to finish this tune so hopefully he won’t get paid his 2/10ths of one slim cent.

@@@ Sabaton: The Last Stand (Nuclear Blast, 2016). A heavy metal record I got to via the Apple Music heavy music section. Power chord, synth blast, war chants, and cue the despair on my part. I’m predicting an epic singer, a real rag tight around the dick type. I am wrong as we get not a screamer but a serious intoner. Wrong again! This first tune commemorates the final stand of Sparta vs. the Persians and I had no idea the Spartans had a last meal solely consisting of stinky cheese. Let’s peep one more as this is painful. I guess this is heavy metal. Not the stuff I really like but heavy metal, it’s kinda Disney metal. Mickey metal.

@@@ Metallica: Hardwired (Blackened, 2016). A single off a full length due in November. Oh how times have changed, Lars is wearing a hat on Apple Music because he’s bald as a baby’s dick. The tune is an old school thrash bumper with Hetfield’s classic delivery — We’re so fucked, shit out of luck is the vocal hook. Sing it brother. I was going to say the mix sounds a little thin and the kick drum sounds like a sock full of dead rats but I thought I would check that up against other Metallica records. I’m listening to Enter Sandman (1991) and it’s much thicker. Same with Master of Puppets. And back to this new track and it is just squashed to fuck, loud as shit but kinda clippy and stupid. What can you do — it’s so fucked. 7.5 million views for this soggy squashed biscuit? That’s fucked!

YTD recordings listened to: 677
Good music, not recommended for purchase: 377
Not good music: 248

Honorable Mentions: 12
Buys: 11

Possibles: Chris McGregor, Dave Arner Trio, Zomby, Retox, Defeater, Jonwayne, Okkyung Lee, The Ballantynes, Slidhr, The Chewers, Toxic Holocaust, Susie Iberra/Roberto Rodriguez, Lenguas Largas, The Coral, T.O.M.B., Fofoulah, Lozen, Erase Errata, Mastery, Leviathan, Hartley C. White, Weed, Cold Water, Janelle Monae, Luther Dickinson, Destruction Unit, Graeme Barrett, Fast Asleep, Goldlink, Cavanaugh, Gentleman Surfer, Satoko Fuji, Mystic Braves, Divanhana, Unrestrained, Moken, Systema Solar, Brian Eno, Juan Atkins, Drone, Lantern, The Lickshots, Twin Peaks, Djelimady Tounkara, Miramar, The Oh Sees, Denny Zeitlin, MILF, Changui Majadero, Joe Sticky, Vieux Kante, Keefe Jackson, Unfun

Never mind the privacy issues, Facebook’s new teen app stupidizes everything in its path!

From here:

Lifestage, which launched in the US on Friday, is restricted to users under the age of 21. It’s designed to make it “easy and fun to share a visual profile of who you are with your school network”.

The app invites users to create a series of videos showing their happy face, sad face, how they dance and sign, their favorite and least favorite song and who their best friend is. Users can also share videos of their classroom, locker, backyard and kitchen. The videos are all framed with cute animations, which give it a definite Snapchat feel.

Oh God, how stupid can America become?  Apparently, very stupid.  What little internal, thoughtful life Americans ever started with is being strangled by Facebook and the arsehol overlords of social media.  Parents, I beg you not to destroy the minds of your children with this data collecting garbage.

#deathtozuckerberg

#facebookblows

The Pantsuit is not crooked, she just sold access to Uncle Sam!

From CNBC here:

At least 85 of 154 people from private interests who met or had phone conversations scheduled with Clinton while she led the State Department donated to her family charity or pledged commitments to its international programs, according to a review of State Department calendars released so far to The Associated Press.

Are you missing good ol’ boring and honest and principled Bernie Sanders right about now?  I know I am.

And I guess this is what Clinton meant when she said she was better positioned to get things done.  You pay her and she gets things done.  You don’t pay her and nothing gets done for you!

8/23/16: Frank Ocean, Lindsey Stirling, Watsky, HIRIE

@@@ Frank Ocean: Blonde (Boys Don’t Cry, 2016). If you’re a music fan you know already that you can’t take a shit in the last week or ten days without finding Frank Ocean in your bathroom. Did he seel out by going exclusive with Apple Music, is he for real any more? He’s got a freakass pitch shifter (?) on his voice on this first tune and I think it’s kinda cool he did that and it also detracts from the tune. I thought Mr. Ocean’s last record was more than a bit hyped — he’s got a real simple lo-fi approach sonically which if you’re not into it could come across as not geniues but rather shallow and simple. As far as I can tell Senor Ocean is all about the vibe. Oh I don’t love this second tune Ivy, let’s peep more. This third tune is more polished and sonically interesting — a tight drum loop and nice bass line here. He’s got some skills but this isn’t really jump up and down material for me.

@@@ Lindsey Stirling: Brave Enough (Lindseystomp Records, 2016). Off this week’s Apple Music new music section. Ms. Stirling is an EDM-violin sensation, I can’t wait for that EDM club snare roll and some four on the floor. Oh this first tune has a heavy New Age stench to it — like a warehouse full of cheese in Iowa and the refirgeration has gone kaput. This first tune will probably outperform the second tune Brave Enough. If a song has the title Brave in it you’re pretty much fucked from the git go. Oddly enough I’m drawn to it like a car wreck. And I will quote lyrics! There’s some things she should have said, but she was too afraid! And now it’s too late! I wish I was, I wish I was brave enough to love you (and this record). Oh man this is an ugly dog that ate a synthesizer and a violin and is trying to pass them and get on with his leg humping life.

@@@ Watsky: x Infinity (Steel Wool/EMPIRE, 2016) White boy hip hopalert!! And produced by vegan billionaire russell Simmons. At least Eminem had the decency to rap really high and that made his schtick more interesting. Watsky has a thin tone to his rapping and I say this as a card carrying white person (white person in skin only) but this guy sounds mad Wonderbread and nerd-a-fied. I would rather listen to Christian hip hop and this brother needs a George Clinton dookie stick.

@@@ HIRIE: Wandering Soul (Rootfire, 2016). An updated, partially electro lovergirl record I got to via the WRIR weekly email. Very slick production and relaxed feeling to this first tune. There is an urgent climax to the first tune before it gears down to a slower second song, Good Vibration. I like some of the sounds and a few of the dub effects are really ear catching but I prefer the rougher reggae business and while I like the singer I don’t love her work on the microphone.

YTD recordings listened to: 673
Good music, not recommended for purchase: 375
Not good music: 246

Honorable Mentions: 12
Buys: 11

Possibles: Chris McGregor, Dave Arner Trio, Zomby, Retox, Defeater, Jonwayne, Okkyung Lee, The Ballantynes, Slidhr, The Chewers, Toxic Holocaust, Susie Iberra/Roberto Rodriguez, Lenguas Largas, The Coral, T.O.M.B., Fofoulah, Lozen, Erase Errata, Mastery, Leviathan, Hartley C. White, Weed, Cold Water, Janelle Monae, Luther Dickinson, Destruction Unit, Graeme Barrett, Fast Asleep, Goldlink, Cavanaugh, Gentleman Surfer, Satoko Fuji, Mystic Braves, Divanhana, Unrestrained, Moken, Systema Solar, Brian Eno, Juan Atkins, Drone, Lantern, The Lickshots, Twin Peaks, Djelimady Tounkara, Miramar, The Oh Sees, Denny Zeitlin, MILF, Changui Majadero, Joe Sticky, Vieux Kante, Keefe Jackson, Unfun

 

 

Our emotionally retarded tech overlords!

From the Guardian here:

Ian McKellen says he turned down $1.5m (£1.14m) to officiate at Napster billionaire Sean Parker’s wedding dressed as Gandalf the wizard.

McKellen, who played the character in Peter Jackson’s Lord of the Rings trilogy, didn’t know the source of the offer when he was asked to marry Parker and his wife, singer Alexandra Lenas. The request came via a mutual acquaintance of Parker and McKellen’s, according to the Mail on Sunday. McKellen said he would have considered the offer if Parker hadn’t stipulated that he come in character.

“I don’t go dressing up, except in plays and things,” McKellen said. “So I said, ‘I am sorry, Gandalf doesn’t do weddings.’”

And these people are the future?

Are we having a public discussion about dissolving the NSA?

From Reuters here:

A more logical explanation could also be insider theft. If that’s the case, it’s one more reason to question the usefulness of an agency that secretly collects private information on millions of Americans but can’t keep its most valuable data from being stolen, or as it appears in this case, being used against us.

In what appeared more like a Saturday Night Live skit than an act of cybercrime, a group calling itself the Shadow Brokers put up for bid on the Internet what it called a “full state-sponsored toolset” of “cyberweapons.”

First Mr. Snowden cleaned out the NSA and there was some reason put forth why that was not an act of complete incompetence.

And now hackers are selling the NSA hacking toolkit on the internet.  I wish I had a job where I could be horrible at my job and never be held accountable.

#dissolvethespooks

8/22/16: Lisa Hannigan, Ed Harcourt, Eddie Levert

@@@ Lisa Hannigan: At Swim (ATO, 2016) ‘Gently mystic’ folk tunes off this week’s All Music weekly email. The first tune is pretty with some very nice vocals, muted acoustic guitar strum, and electric guitar wash in the background. The second tune, Prayer for the Dying, brings on the piano and the drummer. I don’t hear anything particularly ear catching in the playing or the lyrics but the music is very pretty. I’m not sure pretty is enough for me (and I don’t mean to be a bitch about it), but check her out.

@@@ Ed Harcourt: Furnaces (Polydor, 2016). Some more meaningful white people’s music off this week’s All Music notable release email. These are ‘regal and powerful indie hymns’ according to his Apple Music blurb for the record. After a choir-y intro piece the second tune, The World is on Fire, is a bit of a Nick Cave inspired slow tear jerker. Unfortunately for Mr. Harcourt, Mr. Cave does it better. Let’s peep a tad more. Third tune and it’s still a bit overwrought and Imma finishing up my listen with the title track and it’s just a wee bit much for me. Check for yourself.

@@@ Eddie Levert: Did I Make You Go Ooh? (Blackbyrd, 2016). A new record from one of the frontman from the O’Jays. I would say the closest reference I have for this record is Sign O’ the Times by Prince. Upbeat funk with some guitars. I like Levert’s vocals, they’re understated and work well within the arrangements.

YTD recordings listened to: 669
Good music, not recommended for purchase: 373
Not good music: 244

Honorable Mentions: 12
Buys: 11

Possibles: Chris McGregor, Dave Arner Trio, Zomby, Retox, Defeater, Jonwayne, Okkyung Lee, The Ballantynes, Slidhr, The Chewers, Toxic Holocaust, Susie Iberra/Roberto Rodriguez, Lenguas Largas, The Coral, T.O.M.B., Fofoulah, Lozen, Erase Errata, Mastery, Leviathan, Hartley C. White, Weed, Cold Water, Janelle Monae, Luther Dickinson, Destruction Unit, Graeme Barrett, Fast Asleep, Goldlink, Cavanaugh, Gentleman Surfer, Satoko Fuji, Mystic Braves, Divanhana, Unrestrained, Moken, Systema Solar, Brian Eno, Juan Atkins, Drone, Lantern, The Lickshots, Twin Peaks, Djelimady Tounkara, Miramar, The Oh Sees, Denny Zeitlin, MILF, Changui Majadero, Joe Sticky, Vieux Kante, Keefe Jackson, Unfun